Email Service Notes 2nd March (Tony)

Your Original Email:

Dear Teacher,
This is Carol Jiang and this is the first time that I write the email at here. I don’t what kind of topics we need to write or no special requirement and it all depends on what I would like to talk.
Let’s me share something recently what I am doing and what I am expecting.
I am planing to travel to the Netherlands at middle of April. Currently I am busy with applying for the VISA and you even don’t know how many documents what I need to provide and it’s almost including all of my personal information. However, I am enjoying to prepare for the itinerary and making the schedule as well. There are so many must-seen places and i will spend about 10days at Netherlands, then fly back to Shanghai directly. I don’t want to travel too many cities at a very tight schedule. It will make me very exhausted and cannot enjoy the journey well.
Now I am lying on the bed and enjoying the best time in one day, finished one-day stressful work, did a shower, had a chat with friends, feeling relax and rich. Looking forward to a sweet dream, then meet a better tomorrow.
Good night.

Your Corrected Email:

Dear Teacher,
This is Carol Jiang and it’s my first time writing an email here. I don’t what kind of topics we need to write or what special requirements there are. I guess It all depends on what I would like to talk about.
Let me share something I’ve been doing recently and what I am expecting.
I am planing to travel to the Netherlands in the middle of April. Currently I am busy with the Visa application. You can’t imagine how many documents I need to provide, it’s almost all of my personal information. However, I enjoy preparing the itinerary and making the schedule as well. There are so many must-see places and I will spend about 10 days in The Netherlands, then fly directly back to Shanghai. I don’t want to travel to so many cities on a very tight schedule. It will be very exhausting and I wouldn’t enjoy the trip as much. 
Now I am lying on the bed and enjoying the best time of the day, I just finished a stressful work day, took a shower, had a chat with friends and now I’m feeling relaxed. I’m looking forward to sweet dreams, then a better day tomorrow.
Good night.