F2F Class Notes 17th September (Eddie)

Original:

Happy Wife Happy Life

“Eve, how does one get to have a happy life?”, a friend asked me several days ago. I was amused and laughed, “How would I know if you don’t know, since you’re so much smarter than me?” Then he got serious, and started telling me about his problem. His parents got divorced but still live in the same apartment since they can’t afford their own places. The good thing is that they don’t quarrel anymore, and just like two new friends, they now respect each other. For example, before lunch, if they come to the kitchen at the same time, one will say: “You first. The other will respond:  “No, no, no, after you, you go ahead.“ His parents’ difficult marriage had had such a great impact on him that he had never been able to bring a girlfriend home to his ever-belligerent parents.

I think of myself as a / I try to be a good and helpful friend, so I decided to do so some research to help him. The first idea that came to my mind is the phrase “Happy wife, happy life”. I looked it up online, and it turns out that it’s not just a meaningless rhyme, like “No Zuo no die why you try?” “No try no high give me five”. It’s a serious rule and has been proven to be true. A 2014 study from Rutgers University in New Jersey found that the happier the wife is in a long-term marriage, the happier the husband, regardless of how he personally feels about the marriage. This was the result of a survey which involved nearly 400 couples who had been married, on average, for 39 years.

It appeared that at least part of the mystery was solved, / With that hopeful nugget of wisdom, I set my sights on the second half of my quest of finding out what it takes to be a happy wife.

The most important thing is to understand the difference between men and women. First we have to admit that women and men are the same species but they belong to different worlds, and if it sometimes feels painfully difficult to communicate with the opposite sex, that may very well be because it is. Therefore, the next time you have a hard and tough conversation with your wife or husband, don’t be annoyed, but rather remind yourself that it just boils down to different chromosomes. Keep your inner peace and change the way you communicate.

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Second, women have perfect sense, known as a “sixth sense”. Women see more, hear better, they read between the lines, they are touchy-feely which means sensitive. That’s why women always complain that their men are not considerate, not romantic, not gentle and thoughtful. A friend told me that, once she asked her husband to buy a bunch of flowers for her, while her husband said, ‘Honey, let me use the money to cook a meal for you. ’ We, women need meals but we also need flowers. That’s the big difference.

Third, Women can do multi-tasks at a time, such as watch the TV while on the call, listen to the music and cook a meal. While men focus on one thing at a time. That explained why I need to repeat my question to my husband when he’s playing video games. If I know the difference earlier, I would never get so angry. Forth, women are great talkers, they need to talk and they love to talk. Men talk silently to themselves, but women think aloud. That explains after I get home after the work, why I need to talk without a break, while my husband just prefers a video game. That’s the difference between the 2 species, doesn’t mean he doesn’t love me.

If you don’t have much time to go through each rule one by one. There’s an online club, like our toastmaster club, but named “Happy wife-happy life-club” And the mission is to build stronger marriages one couple at a time. You may get lots of support and help from it.

All in all, treat your wife like a Queen, and you will get a happy wife. In turn, she will treat you like a King, and you will have a better life.

Maybe, if my friend’s parents could realize the rule, their world could be totally different.

Edit:

Happy Wife Happy Life

“Eve, how to get a happy life”? Several days ago, a friend asked me. I was amused and laughed, “how could I know if you don’t know? Since you’re much smarter than me”. Then he got silenced, and told me his problem. His parents got divorced but still live in one apartment due to the high housing price. The good thing is that his parents don’t quarrel anymore, and just like 2 new friends, respect each other. For example, before the lunch time, if they come to the kitchen at the same time, one would say: You first. The other would response: No, no, no, after you, you use the kitchen first. His parents’ marriage troubled and impacted him a lot, till now, he’s still single.

Since I’m a good and helpful friend, therefore, I decided to do so some researches to help him. The first idea came to my mind is the phase “Happy wife, happy life”. Then I searched it in the internet, it turns out that it’s not just a convenient rhyme, like No Zuo no die why you try? No try no high give me five. It’s a serious rule and has been approved to be true. A new study from Rutgers University in New Jersey found that the happier the wife is in a long-term marriage, the happier the husband, regardless of how he personally feels about the marriage. The conclusion comes from a survey which involved nearly 400 couples who had been married, on average, for 39 years.

I was so glad that I found the secret, but how to get or be a happy wife? I continued my research.
The most important thing is to understand the difference between men and women. First we have to admit that woman and man are same species but they belong to different worlds, if you feel it’s difficult to communicate with the opposite sex, that’s reasonable. Therefore, next time, when you have a hard and tough conversation with your wife or husband, don’t be annoyed, just remind yourself that it’s reasonable. Keep inner peace and change the way of communication.

Second, woman has perfect sense, known as a “Sixth Sense”. Women see more, hear better, they read between the lines, they are touchy-feely which means sensitive. That’s why women always complain that their men are not considerate, not romantic, not gentle and thoughtful. A friend told me that, once she asked her husband to buy a bunch of flowers for her, while her husband said, ‘Honey, let me use the money to cook a meal for you. ’ We, women need meals but we also need flowers. That’s the big difference.

Third, Women can do multi-tasks at a time, such as watch the TV while on the call, listen to the music and cook a meal. While men focus on one thing at a time. That explained why I need to repeat my question to my husband when he’s playing video games. If I know the difference earlier, I would never get so angry. Forth, women are great talkers, they need to talk and they love to talk. Men talk silently to themselves, but women think aloud. That explains after I get home after the work, why I need to talk without a break, while my husband just prefers a video game. That’s the difference between the 2 species, doesn’t mean he doesn’t love me.

If you don’t have much time to go through each rule one by one. There’s an online club, like our toastmaster club, but named “Happy wife-happy life-club” And the mission is to build stronger marriages one couple at a time. You may get lots of support and help from it.

All in all, treat your wife like a Queen, and you will get a happy wife. In turn, she will treat you like a King, and you will have a better life.

Maybe, if my friend’s parents could realize the rule, their world could be totally different.