Email Service Notes 4th March
Your Original Email
I am graduate of Shanghai Ocean University and my major is Loistics Engnieering.I have one year and a half working experence(experences?) as an assistant ,which improve my strain capacity and interpersonal ability a lot.I am willing to put much effort into my career so I won’t get married in the following three years .I believe it crucial for female to live independently, have her own dream and pursuit them bravely . I really admire super models in the world as I am really into their fabulous(may I use this ) performance on(at?) the stage and their good-shaped body .Each time I saw those super models it reminds me that we should be diligent and hold positice attitude to our lives.
Your Edited Email
I am a graduate of Shanghai Ocean University and my major is Logistical Engnieering.I have one and a half years of working experience as an assistant ,which has helped to improve my work capacity and interpersonal skills a lot. I am willing to put a lot of effort into my career so I don’t plan to get married in the following three years .I believe it is crucial for females to live independently, have her own dreams and pursue them bravely . I really admire super-models in the world as I am really into their fabulous performance on stage and their amazing figure .Each time I see those super models it reminds me that we should be diligent and hold a positive attitude to our lives.
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