Email Service Notes (Tony)

Your Original Email:

Sounds good
– Hey, what’s going on?
– Good, pretty good! I just failed the job interview.
– Oh, I am sorry. I didn’t see it coming. Why don’t they hire you such a talented guy?
– You know what, lets skip this whole job thing, I just wanna let myself go for now. What about you? I saw your date the other night. She’s stunning.
– My date? No, she’s my sister.
– Could you please fill me in on something about her?
– I don’t mean to be mean, but all she does lately is sit at home and do nothing.
– Honestly I have a crush on her when I laid my eyes on her.
– She’s very charming and I’m not surprised to hear that. You treat me lunch and I’ll tell you more.
– Sounds good. Shake on it.
– Since you are a MIT graduate, I believe she needs you to help her apply for a decent college.
– What? How old is she?
– She’s 17. Come on, bide your time, she could be all yours, you’ll never know.

Your Corrected Email:

Sounds good
– Hey, what’s going on?
– Not so good! I just failed the job interview.
– Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t see that coming. Why didn‘t they hire you? you’re such a talented guy.
– You know what, lets skip this whole job thing, I just wanna unwind. What about you? I saw your date the other night. She’s stunning.
– My date? No, she’s my sister.
– Oh, tell me something about her.
– I don’t mean to be negative, but all she does lately is sit at home and do nothing.
– Honestly I’ve had a crush on her since I first laid eyes on her.
– She’s very sweet and I’m not surprised to hear that. If you treat me to lunch I’ll tell you more.
– Sounds good. Shake on it.
– Since you are a MIT graduate, I believe she needs you to help her apply for a decent college.
– What? How old is she?
– She’s 17. Come on, bide your time, she could be all yours, you never know.