Email Service Notes (Jesse)

Your Original Email

Be strong
Monday I heard a sad news:a civial servant, who worked on the sixteenth floor where I also work on, committed suicide last Thursday. I was so shocked/astonished when hearing that. He was a quiet man and I seldom saw him smile. I can’t understand why he committed suicide. After his death, I have heard some reasons for his suicide by others. I am not into why he ended his life. I just feel pity for him. He may had difficult times, but I don’t think that he had to commit suicide.
I believe: people can solve any problems only if they are still alive. Every one would run into tough time in their lifes. At that time, we may feel depressed and hopeless. But we can overcome problems with various ways. We must face the challenges courageously. Once I was also helpless to my life. However, I didn’t imagine dying. Because I knew I could get it over and later the life would be better. In fact, it really did.
Now my life is better and better. Although sometimes I have difficult times, I don’t fear them. I am willing to face them and get them over. I must be strong. Thus my future will be brighter.

Your Edited Email

Be strong
Monday I heard some sad news that a civil servant, who worked on the sixteenth floor where I also work, committed suicide last Thursday. I was so shocked/astonished when hearing that. He was a quiet man and I seldom saw him smile, but I can’t understand why he committed suicide. After his death, I heard some reasons for his suicide by others. I am not into why he ended his life and I just feel pity for him. He may have had difficult times, but I don’t think that he had to commit suicide. <— great sentence
I believe people can solve any problems only if they are still alive. Everyone runs into tough time in their lives and during those times, we may feel depressed and hopeless. However, we can overcome problems in various ways and must face the challenges courageously. Once I also felt that my life was hopeless but I didn’t imagine dying because I knew I could get over it and later my life would be better. In fact, it really was.
Now my life is better and better and although sometimes I have difficult times, I don’t fear them. I am willing to face them and get over them. If I’m strong, my future will be brighter.