Email Service Notes (Jesse)

Your Original Email

I went to the Shanghai Disneyland on Saturday with my ex-colleagues. We arrived at the Disneyland very early, before it opened.
There were less visitors than we guessed. We got three fast pass in that day. Pirates of the Caribbean was so amazing which let you as a pirate in those 3D movies. The Tron was so exciting and some of my colleagues were afraid of it. Some of us rode the drifting with rain cope, however, when they got off, they were wrung. It was so cold!
What’s a happy day and all of us like the Disneyland.

Your Edited Email

I went to Shanghai Disneyland on Saturday with my ex-colleagues / some of my old colleagues. We arrived at Disneyland very early, before it opened and there were less / fewer visitors than we guessed / expected.

We got three fast passes that day. The Pirates of the Caribbean attraction was so amazing. It let you feel like a pirate in a 3D movie. The Tron was so exciting as well, but some of my colleagues were afraid of it. Some of us rode the drifting with rain cope (what’s this? a ride?), however, when they got off, they were wrung (soaking wet? drenched?). It was so cold!
What happy day it was! All of us had a really good time there.