Email Service Notes (Jesse)

Your Original Email

I am extremely busy this month because I have to deal with different project at same time.so I hope next vocation coming soon and I planning to go to a travel. I would like to go to SanYa because I like ocean and beach which can make me feel relax. And I could take many beautiful photo there as well.I remember I came to SanYa at first time when I was a child and came together with my father.That was my first time to see ocean,I was super excited at that moment and fall in love with it. So I hope I can go to SanYa again with my another important men：my husband.

Your Edited Email

I am extremely busy this month because I have to deal with different projects at the same time, so I hope my next vacation is coming soon and I can plan to take a trip / to travel somewhere. I would like to go to SanYa because I like the ocean and beach as they can make me feel relaxed / they can relax me. Also, I could take many beautiful photos there as well. I remember that I first I went to SanYa with my father at first time when I was a child and came together with my father. That was my first time to see the ocean, which made me super excited at that moment and fall in love with it. So I hope I can go to SanYa again with my other important man：my husband.

– what a lovely story!! 🙂 Review the corrections in your next class and ask your teacher anything you’re not sure about!