Email Service Notes (Jesse)

Your Original Email

In our country, you can find a job easily. The are many opportunities in our country especially the important cities, like Shanghai, Beijing, Guangzhou etc. Shanghai is the city full of opportunities and challenges, and you have to work hard to make sure you can have a good life. The people who around me are all working.

You don’t need to work unless you are a native and you have a lot of houses in the downtown, so you don’t need to worry about the money, and you can get the money from the rent.

So far I’m satisfied about my life, I use my money to ensure my dreams come true, that’s exciting.

Your Edited Email

In our country, you can find a job easily / it’s easy to find a job. The are many opportunities in our country especially in the important cities, like Shanghai, Beijing, Guangzhou etc. Shanghai is a city full of opportunities and challenges, and you have to work hard to make sure you can have a good life. The people around me / who are around me are all working.

You need to work unless you are a native and you have a lot of houses downtown, so you don’t need to worry about money, as you can get it from rent.

So far I’m satisfied with my life. I use my money to ensure my dreams come true, and that’s exciting.