Email Service Notes (Ben)

Your Original Email

Mosquitos everywhere
Once on Saturday I had a night shift, which meant I would sleep in the office. At about 10:45pm, I fell asleep, but just after a while, I heard the sound from mosquitos. I turned on the light immediately and looked for them. luckily I found one quickly and killed it, then I slept again. The problem was mosquitos came out again. I was so annoyed about it and had to get up again catching it. A few minutes later I killed it. I thought I could have a nice sleep. I didn’t think there was any mosquito in the office. At midnight, however, about 3 pm I was bitten by mosquitos again, which so many bites on my arms and neck. What made me extremely angry was I hadn’t found the mosquitos this time. I had no idea about this problem. What I could do only was changing the sleeping position. It was obvious that it didn’t work. At the fourth time, I made up my mind to killing the mosquitos until I slept. Finally, I found two mosquitos and killed them, which led some blood on my hand. Since I had got up four times at one night, I felt dizzy after getting up in the morning. What a terrible night.

Your Edited Email

Mosquitoes everywhere
Once, (comma) on a Saturday, I had a night shift, which meant I would sleep in the office. At about 10:45 pm (space), I fell asleep, but just after a while, I heard the sound of mosquitoes.

I turned on the light immediately and looked for them. Luckily (capital) I found one quickly and killed it, then went back to sleep again. The problem was a mosquito came out again. I was so annoyed about it and had to get up again to catch it. A few minutes later I killed it. I thought I could (finally) have a nice sleep.

I didn’t think there was any mosquito in the office. At midnight, however, about 3 pm (3 pm, 3 am or midnight?) I was bitten by mosquitoes again, and got so many bites on my arms and neck.

What made me extremely angry was I hadn’t found the mosquitoes before. I had no idea about this problem. What I could do was only to change my sleeping position. It was obvious that it didn’t work. On the fourth time, I made up my mind to kill the mosquitoes before going back to sleep. Finally, I found two mosquitoes and killed them, which led to getting some blood on my hand. Since I had gotten up four times in one night, I felt dizzy after getting up in the morning. What a terrible night it was.