VIP Class Notes (Whitney) [S + W]

My Favourite Season

Original

My favourite season is spring. It is warm. It is beautiful. The sky is blue. I can plant trees and have a picnic. The plants grow and grow. I like spring.

Corrected

My favourite season is spring because the sky is blue and it is warm and beautiful. I like spring because I can plant trees and have a picnic, whilst the plants grow and grow.

Note: Sentence structure, to make your sentences sound more native and natural, reduce the use of excessive “it is” and “the”

My Favourite Toy 

Original

My favourit toy is robot. It’s super. It’s nice. It is popular in our class. I think it is a good toy. It can walk. It makes me happy.

Corrected

My favourite toy is a robot. It’s super because it can talk and walk, I like it very much. It is popular in our class because we all like robots very much. I think it is a good toy, playing with it makes me very happy.

Original

I have a fun today. Because I mood the sky is very good. So today is Halloween. So I am very thrilling.

Corrected

I had fun today because today is Halloween. I am thrilled and in a good mood. 

Use the words “special”, “vegetables” and “summer” to write a story.

Original

In the summer is special hot. I can eat vegetables and ice-creams in the summer. I can swim in the river. I like summer.

Corrected

In the summer, it is especially hot. I can eat special food such as vegetables and ice-creams in the summer. I like summer because I can swim in the river.

Write a story about your extra-curricular activities, such as piano, swimming, taekwondo and dance lessons. Do you enjoy these classes and how do you feel?