VIP Class Notes (Tibo) [S]

I think the average age Is a little bit older than in China. I think for example in my situation if I were In Korea right now I would feel pressure a lot about I’m not married yet. Everyone is talking about marriage, even my friends. my colleagues. If someone didn’t get married. especially a women. people think what a poor girl whats wrong with her.
Even tough if I have boyfriend and I live in Korea and I am over 35, people would think what’s wrong with that couple. So far I complain about Korean society because Koreans have a lot of prejudice. Whenever people ask Korean I complain about this but now I forget about it. So for the first time I don’t have pressure about marriage but When I go back I am gonna get stressed . In China they have their rules and their prejudices and I don’t get it because I am foreigner here. Being foreigner is very helpful out of social pressure. These days I really enjoy my lifestyle but in Korea I would be very depressed.

In Korea, women get more pressure about age of marriage and the average for marriage for guys is older than women. Even if there is a guy who is 40 years old people think it is fine he has chance. But for a girl I think she needs to live alone forever. People think that way.

I heard Chinese guys have more pressure about economic situation.

Still if guys prepare house that will be nice but these days house is too expensive and that is not of course / a must to do thing / having apartment is not a must but still when I talk about marriage with my friends. Even start their marriage with apartment is good. The couples with start with and the couples that start without there are a lot of gaps and we understand that and I hope my future husband can afford apartment but also we think it is difficult so we can accept a guy who cannot afford an apartment.

These days so many people they combine their money together and try to get apartment together. And also in Korea there is no free thing. If you meet a guy who is from rich family she is gonna have difficult time with fther in law and mother in law. Because the mother in law try to affect to their marriage because they help them. they feel they have right. And Also still Korea culture still very traditional so our parent generations still think boys is better than girls. Some parents want to take power I am the parent of the guy, you need to treat me well.

It is getting much much better. Our generation speaks loud about problems and unfairness. We make a ceremony for altars but traditionally for the main day wife needs to go to husbands’ family and join their altar. For my parents there is no doubting the wife needs to go to her husbands family and cook and serve them food. But my generation we are so pissed off. Why I have to go to my husband’s house. I think we need to rotate it. So I can see the difference between my parents and my generation and still some parents cannot accept our questioning

I think the average age is a little bit older than in China. I think for example in my situation if I were In Korea right now I would feel pressured a lot about not being married yet. Everyone is talking about marriage, even my friends. my colleagues. If someone isn’t  married yet. especially a women. people would wonder and think what a poor girl what’s wrong with her.
Even if I have a boyfriend and I live in Korea, if I am over 35, people would think what’s wrong with that couple. So far I complain about the Korean society because Koreans have a lot of prejudices. Whenever people ask about Koreans I complain about this but now I forgot about it. So for the first time I don’t have much pressure about marriage but When I go back I am gonna get stressed . In China they have their rules and their prejudices and I don’t get it because I am a foreigner here. Being a foreigner is very helpful to escape social pressure. These days I really enjoy my lifestyle but in Korea I would be very depressed.

In Korea, women get more pressure about the age of marriage and in average men get married older than women. Even if there is a guy who is 40 years old people think it is fine he still has a chance. But for a girl I think she needs to live alone forever. People think that way.

I heard Chinese guys have more pressure about the economic situation. / I heard Chinese guys have more economic pressure.

Still if guys prepare a house that will be nice but these days houses are too expensive and that is not of course / a must to do thing / having an apartment is not a must but still when I talk about marriage with my friends. they agree that getting married with an apartment is better.

There are a lot of gaps between couples with an apartment and couples without. We understand that and I hope my future husband can afford to buy apartment but we also think  it is difficult so we can accept a guy who cannot afford an apartment/a house/ a property/some real estate.

These days so many people they combine their money together and try to get an apartment together. But in Korea when it comes to marriage there is no free meal. If you meet a guy who is from rich family the bride is gonna have a difficult time with the in laws. Because the mother in law may try to affect to their marriage because they helped them. they feel they have this kind of right. And Also still Korean culture is still very traditional for some people. Some of our parent generations still think that boys are better than girls.
Some parents feel empowered because they are on the man’s side of the family and they feel entitled to a better treatment.

most families have a ceremony for worshipping their ancestors.
For the Spring Festival  we have to pray to our ancestors for good luck in the new year. and in the Harvest festival we have to thank our ancestors for the food we get.
Worshipping ancestors is a kind of virtue in Korean.

It is getting much much better. Our generation speaks aloud about problems and unfairness. Traditionally for the main day of new year  the wife needs to go to her husbands’ family and join their altar. For my parents there is no doubting the wife needs to go to her husbands family, cook and serve them food. But for my generation it is different we are so pissed off. Why do I have to go to my husband’s house. I think we need to take turns. So I can see the difference between my parents and my generation.

Vocabulary

altar / a legions corner dedicated to a god or a person
There is an Altar in his house with the picture of his grandfather.

confucianism / teaching from Confucius

there is no free meal / nothing comes for free
It seemed like a good deal but I realized afterwards that he actually took advantage of me. I guess as the saying goes : nothing comes for free.