VIP Class Notes (Nicholas)[W]

For email writing focus on:

Shorter sentences — to the point.
No wordy sentences — don’t need so many verbs.
Upgrading vocabulary to formal words.

Original

Dear distinguished guests,

On behalf of Daisy Jiang and Clinique Team, it is with our great honor to invite you to our Clinique Consultant Conference 2019, which will be held in Xiamen Shangri-La Hotel, July 22nd . J
Please find the agenda below and the flight will be arranged for you .

July 22nd
PARTI     Clinique Consultant Conference  13:30~18:00
PARTII    Dinner party                                    19:00~22:00

July 23th
Free Day & Back to Shanghai

You could also choose to stay one night in Xiamen, and we’ll be very pleased to help arrange room for you.
We really hope you all could enjoy the charming night with Clinique Team! If there’s anything I could help, please do not hesitated to let me know.

Corrected

Dear distinguished guests,

On behalf of Daisy Jiang and the Clinique Team, it is our great honor to invite you to our Clinique Consultant Conference 2019, which will be held / to be held at the Xiamen Shangri-La Hotel on July 22nd .

Please find the agenda below. Your flight will be arranged for you / All flights will be arranged for you.

July 22nd
PARTI     Clinique Consultant Conference  13:30~18:00
PARTII    Dinner party                                    19:00~22:00

July 23th
Free Day  & Back to Shanghai

You can also choose to stay one night in Xiamen, and we will be very pleased to help arrange a room for you.
You are also welcome to stay one night in Xiamen, and we are pleased to arrange your room.

We hope you enjoy this charming night with our / the Clinique Team! If there is anything I can assist you with, please do not hesitate to let me know.

Original

Dear all,

It’s my great pleasure to announce that our National Sales Meeting will take place in Beijing Marriott Hotel Changping. We very much look forward to welcoming you for the great event together and to sharing with you the exciting performance! Please kindly help to check about you and your boss’s availability and accept/decline the invitation as a response by end of June 25.

You will find attached the draft agenda and I will send out the travel advisory form (TAF) for hotel booking & logistic arrangement in the coming weeks.
Kindly let us know if you have any question.We are grateful to announce that FY 20 EL BA Meeting will be held in Zhuhai on July 10. Could you please kindly help to confirm the participants of your team and fill the TAF in attachment? Please notice that the hotel can NOT be cancelled once confirmed because of the rush season, and your feedback before May 30 would be highly appreciated.

Meeting details is showed below.

Time:  8:30~22:00, July 10
Hotel:  Chimelong Hengqin Bay Hotel, Zhuhai 珠海长隆横琴湾酒店

Any queries, just feel free to let me know, thanks a lot.

Corrected

Dear all,

It’s my great pleasure to announce that our National Sales Meeting will take place at the Beijing Marriott Hotel in Changping. We very much look forward to welcoming you for this great event together and to sharing with you the exciting performance! / We look forward to welcoming you to this great event and sharing this exciting performance!

We kindly request that you confirm you and your boss’s availability, and accept/decline the invitation by June 25th.

You will find attached the draft agenda. I will send out the travel advisory form (TAF) for hotel booking & logistic arrangements in the coming weeks.

Kindly let us know if you have any questions. We are proud / privileged to announce that the FY 20 EL BA Meeting will be held in Zhuhai on July 10th. Please kindly confirm the participants of your team and fill out / complete  attached TAF form. Please notice that the hotel CANNOT be cancelled once confirmed due to the rush season. Your feedback before May 30 would be / is highly appreciated.

Meeting details are below:

Time:  8:30~22:00, July 10th
Hotel:  Chimelong Hengqin Bay Hotel, Zhuhai 珠海长隆横琴湾酒店

If you have any questions or concerns, do not hesitate to contact me / do not hesitate to reach out. Thank you!

Sincerely,

Rila

Grammar

our company don’t have enough budget  to hire another assistant
our company doesn’t have enough budget  to hire another assistant

I just support two boss
I just support two bosses

Not every boss is same
Not every boss is the same

They do have two different personality
They do have two different personalities 

She will cost up to 1000 RMB for lunch by herself
She will spend up to 1000 RMB for lunch by herself
The lunch costs up to 100 RMB

She like to eat more healthy
She likes to eat more healthy

Vocabulary

help on
assist with
help = assist
your assistance is greatly appreciated.

I need help on this project.
I need help with this project.

because of  = due to
I was late due to traffic.
I was late because of the traffic.

frugal – 节俭
e.g. My one boss is a very frugal person.

she would trash them in private – to say bad things

but I didn’t want to rat her out – tell the senior partners what she said
but I didn’t want to out her

it’s my wrong – it’s my [fault]

filthy – 肮脏
filthy rich – extravagantly rich
e.g. My friend is filthy rich.
e.g. His friends are also filthy, stinking rich.

mundane – boring, everyday, not special – 世俗
e.g. My boss announced some mundane changes to our company.
e.g. My day is full of mundane tasks given to me by my boss.

fixed – it can’t change
e.g. She say your personality is fixed at birth and cannot change.

nature vs. nurture – it’s a debate one side says that nature is the cause of everything, the other side say nurture (how you are raised/environment) affects everything .
nurture – 培养

politically correct – politically polite
politically incorrect – politically rude and unacceptable
e.g. Telling people that they are stupid is rude and politically incorrect.

sabotage – 破坏