VIP Class Notes (Nicholas)(S)

Submit TOEFL writing responses as homework submissions

Eat at Yeshari – corner of Tianyaoqiao and East Nandan Road

Focus on a personal story – one personal story and expand on it

Try and compare/contrast things.

Continue TOEFL speaking exercise

Vocabulary

introverted / like to by themselves

social person / social people / socialize (verb)

e.g. I like to socialize when I go out drinking because I am a social person.

What do you miss most about your home when you are away? 

Original

When I am away from home, what I miss most are two things: my family and my hometown foodThe food is something that I can really live without – because there’s so different and special to me. Even if I’m in somewhere else I keep looking for my hometown food. Other things sm family because my grandma and my mom are the two most important tpeple to me so if I didn’t see them for so long I just miss them so much.

Corrected 

When I am away from home, what I miss most are two things: my family and my hometown food. The food is something that I can/can’t really live without – because it is so different and special to me. Even if I’m in somewhere else I keep looking for my hometown food. Other things I miss are my family because my grandma and my mom are the two most important people to me so if I didn’t see them for a long time I just miss them so much.

Original

When I am away from home the food I miss most is food from my hometown of Xinjiang. For example, let me tell you my favorite food: fried rice noodles. Because this is so special to me and so spicy normally people cannot take that spicy – I think Xinjiang is influenced by Middle Eastern food, so I love the spices of all the dishes in my hometown.

Corrected 

When I am away from home the food I miss most is food from my hometown of Xinjiang. For example, let me tell you my favorite food: fried rice noodles. Because this is so special to me and so spicy — normally people cannot take that type of spice / that much spice – also I think Xinjiang is influenced by Middle Eastern food, so I love the spices of all the dishes from my hometown.

Original

Let’s talk about my grandma because my Granda raised me up and actually she’s adorable elder person – because she’s very old now and her healthy is an issue so sometimes I just worry about there – and she is the one are most important to me. Her ears is not working so well. so every time I call her – she says what are you saying – but I really do want to visit her more often.

Corrected

Let’s talk about my grandma because my Grandma raised me up and actually she’s an adorable elderly person – but she’s very old now and her healthy is becoming an issue so sometimes I just worry about her life there / her – and she is the one of the most important people in my life. Her ears are not working so well these days so every time I call her – she says what are you saying – but I really do want to visit her more often. Family is really important to me so when I think of my hometown I immediately think of my grandmother.

Many universities now offer academic courses over the internet however some people still prefer learning in traditional classrooms, which is better explain why:

Original

I think traditional classroom is better because I think most people are need to connect with another and you should learn to social with many peoples so it provides an environment to improve your social skills in the future.

Corrected

I think traditional classrooms are better because I think most people have a need to connect with others. An important part of learning – for me at least, is not just what I am reading in a book, but also what I am learning from others. When you learn in a traditional classroom, it provides an environment to improve your social skills for the future — for example, I can speak with my teacher directly and ask for his guidance — where can I do this on the internet? There is no personal touch on the internet. 

Original

I think learning on internet is better because some people like me are not social people and we are just prefer to learning by ourselves and maybe that’s an easy way to focus on learning, and actually we can also social with people on the internet.

Corrected

I think learning on the internet is better because some people are like me — I’m an introvert, I’m not a social person, and like many others, I prefer to learn by myself. The internet provides a very easy way for introverted people like me to focus on learning — not on reckless classmates or students that are misbehaved and not interested in learning. And some people say you can’t make friends on the internet – well that’s not true – I can use chatrooms and technology to meet people from all over the world – you can’t do that in one classroom.