VIP Class Notes (Nicholas) [S/W]

Are cell phones important in your country? Do people use them often? Why do they use them so much? What about apps? Are they popular?

Original

My father took me to play in a (water park )when I was a little girl .At the moment I (fall) into the water I found that I liked playing water.In the water my father helped me to swim.He raised me up at the face of the water,let me moved my arms and legs, I felt happy about my moving in the water, I thought that I can swim despite the fact that I couldn’t.That was my happiest experience about learning swim.

I have a dangerous experience about learning swim when I was 18.That was a summer holiday, I gone swimming with my sister,because we known our level about swim ,so we just (swam) and played at the （shallow water).I never swam to the deep water but one time I swam too fast under the water and lost my direction so I swam into the deep water (area).I almost can heard my sister called me in a hurry,at that time I came up from water,then I suddenly found that I was in the deep water area far away from the edge of the (swimming pool)!Meanwhile I fall down into the water even have no breath!

I scared very much but my mind was clear,so the first thing I did was to change my direction fast,then I used all my strengths to swim .There were many thoughts appeared in my mind at that time, I thought my mom and I realized why the people who had fall into water can not say “help”,because when they opened the (mouth) and tried to say help they had to drink the water. I couldn’t touch anything and put my head out of the water,I was too tired that I even thought （about）abandon swimming.I can receive （accept) my death if I save somebody but I can’t receive (accept) my death like this! When I thought about these things I suddenly felt that I could touch the floor under the water and then I stood up in the water,with my deeply breath,I looked around and found a man near me just 3 meters! I asked him why he didn’t save me,he laughed and told to me:If you drunk 3 (sips) water,maybe you can swim!”

Even though I can swim from shallow water to deep water area now,but I still remember that experience deeply,it’s a very complex science for me.

Corrected

My father took me to play in a water park when I was a little girl .At the moment I fell into the water I found that I liked playing in the water. My father helped me swim in the water.He raised me up at the face of the water and let me move my arms and legs, I felt happy about my moving in the water, I thought that I could swim despite the fact that I couldn’t.That was my happiest experience about learning to swim.

I had a dangerous experience about learning to swim when I was 18. That was a summer holiday, I had gone swimming with my sister,because we knew our level of swimming ,so we just swam and played in the shallow water.I never swam into the deep water but one time I swam too fast under the water and lost my direction so I swam into the deep water area.I almost could heard my sister call me in a hurry,at that time I came up from the water,then I suddenly found that I was in the deep water area / deep end far away from the edge of the swimming pool!Meanwhile I fell down into the water and couldn’t breathe / and was out of breath!

I was scared very much but my mind was clear, so the first thing I did was to change my direction fast then I used all my strength to swim .There were many thoughts that appeared in my mind at that time, I thought about my mom and I realized why people who had fell /fallen into the water can not say “help”because when they opened their (mouth) and tried to say help they had to drink the water. I couldn’t touch anything and put my head above water,I was too tired that I even thought （about）abandoning swimming.I can（accept) my death if I save somebody but I can’t receive (accept) my death like this! When I thought about these things I suddenly felt that I could touch the floor under the water and then I stood up in the water, and took a deep breath,I looked around and found a man near me just 3 meters! I asked him why he didn’t save me,he laughed and told to me:If you drank 3 (sips) of water,maybe you can swim!”

Even though I can now swim from the shallow end to the deep end,I still remember that experience deeply, it affected my psychologically / it affected my psychology / it affected my thinking.

No comma , before THEN and BECAUSE

Grammar

think + about
think + of
I thought about my mom
I thought of my mom
I am thinking of a girl
I thought of an idea

breathe / breath
my breath smells bad
I am breathing right now
I was in the deep end and couldn’t breathe

Even though I can swim now I still remember that experience.
I can swim now, but I still remember that experience.

I was impressed with his teaching
I was impressed by his teaching

Live Corrections 

I think maybe the young people would like to choose jobs that have holidays and high salaries. When I had graduated from my university I thought / searched the job for 3 times, I wanted to be a teacher so I came to our university in Henan for my job. Then I passed the examination in that university I felt very happy but my professor asked me to help her for doing something so time was not suitable for me so I give up the offer from that university.

I think it’s a little difficult because there are not very much work for newly educated students / for people that just graduated lots of newly educated students have no work they need to do the short work for their survive.

I think the interest is more important for me because I can earn money from the other ways such as sell some paintings and teach children to paint.

Yes I think so, in my country there are many successful people without studied in universities but I think their successes came from their hard work.

Weddings are very important in my country – the new couple / new couples would choose the nice day for their wedding and the ceremony would have sincere atmosphere. But it think in my country the most ceremonies about wedding are similar without something surprise everyone knows what he or she would do  on time. But I think every bride is beautiful. Nowadays a majority of young people dont want to get married because they can enjoy their lives just for themselves, and the other reason about this phenomenon is young people have not enough money to support themselves / support a family. So they have lots of pressure。Because lots of young people dont want to get married so their parents pressure them to find a lover and get married quickly.

Recently I had read a book which name is – it’s a Chinese book about poetry the author is a woman, she is – something wrong about her brain so she can’t move, so she walked with some difficult, but her poetry is / poems are very interesting deeply and the quality is good. I was impressed deeply in her poems. I can feel some – feel the same things – psychology – I can feel her pain or her emotions – I shared her feelings – and I pained with her. I can’t give up to read her poems.Every poems was short maybe one page or two pages so I used two days to finish reading this book. Meanwhile I reread the book which name is The Little Prince but everyday I read one part about this book in English – so its a little difficult for me but I like that book very very much so I can give up to read it.