VIP Class Notes (Li)[S/W]

Write a story about a competition that you have participated in.

Vocabulary

be asleep/fall asleep

to be wide awake/half asleep/in deep sleep

exhaustion (n): extremely tired

eg. Emma was taken into hospital suffering from exhaustion brought on by stress.

eg. She got sick from exhaustion.

actually: in fact/really 实际上；事实上；的确

eg. I didn’t actually see her – I just heard her voice.

eg. What actually happened last night?

naughty: when a child or animal misbehaves 调皮的

eg. Jim’s dog is very naughty.

corgi: 柯基

long-term home/forever home

walk a dog: take the dog out for a walk

Grammar

Writing in the third person –

Avoid using “I”

I think exercising has many advantages 

Exercising has many advantages

Include the right pronouns – if you write about someone use their name or he/she/it/him/her/it/they/them/their 

Follow the format: point ->example->detail

If you must include your own experience, you put it after you state a point

therefore vs. however 

therefore – same as saying because…”so”

eg. Many people believe that eating avocado is good for your health. Therefore, I should start eating avocados.

however – like “but”

eg. Since I started working overtime, I have been going to bed late. However, I can get 8 hours of sleep.

I want to have a dog and a cat. I like dog more because I think dog can make me fun. I think most cats are 高冷. They like to play alone. I think cat is clean than dog. They can go to the toilet alone, but dog is naughty. You must teach them and it will take me long time to teach them. When I was young I had a duck.

Revised: 

I want to have/own a dog and a cat. I like dogs more because I think dogs can play with me/are more fun than cats. I think most cats are cold. They like to play alone. I think cats are cleaner than dogs. They can go to the toilet alone, but dogs are naughty. You must teach them and it will take a long time to teach them/for them to learn. When I was young I had a duck.

I have been working out for four months, I never exercises before but now I keep work out three times a week and I’m fond of it gradually. I thing keep exercising have many advantage. Firstly, exercise can improve my sleep quality, since I began to exercise I often fall asleep at 11pm and keep deep sleeping at lest five hours, however, I would have enough energy to work. Secondly, everyday I have to stare at computer, It’s due to my neck shoulder and back very stiff. Doing some weights can build muscle and relive tired . After exercising I felt my body is more comfortable than before. Finally, I found most of fitness people looks younger and optimistic than others. I draw a conclusion exercise is good for my healthy so I will keep exercising.

Revised:

I have been working out for four months, I never exercised before but now I work out three times a week and gradually, I became fond of it. I think exercising has many advantages. Firstly, exercising can improve my sleep quality. Since I began to exercise I often fall asleep at 11 pm and be in deep sleep for at least five hours. Therefore, I have enough energy to work. Secondly, I have to stare at the computer every day, It makes my neck shoulder and back very stiff. Doing some weights can build muscle and relieve exhaustion. After exercising, my body feels more comfortable than before. Finally, I found that most fitness enthusiasts/people that like exercise look younger and more optimistic than others. In my opinion, exercise is good for my health so I will keep exercising.