VIP Class Notes (George) [S]

Original

I think the trip i fabulous. First we came to Amsterdam and we vited Van Goh museum, we saw plenty of paintings there and we acquired a large amount of knowledge about Van Gogh’s life, and what impressed me most were that sex museum in Amsterdam. It show me a lot of different culture about sex which I can’t see in China because Chinese are very traditional country right now but in Qing dynasty we have more open attitude in sex. Gay is very ordinary in our everyday life, and now we think gay i lower.next we came to germany first place we went it frankfurth, very alike with shanghai, next we go Barden Barden, there is are best, lots of people in different gender, they can take different bus together, we went there very late at night, so we saw lots of old man , she feel what a shame, next we went to thur, newest castle in german, and we saw different scenery in Europe because there is barely castle in Shanghai in China, and last we went to the bear festival. The festival is seems like a big zoo, and we tasted very salty bread (pretzel) and the bear there is very bitter and we felt a little noisy there but very interesting then we came back. we transferred in France, Charles de Gaulle Airport.

Corrected

I think the trip was fabulous. First we went to Amsterdam and we visited the Van Goh museum, we saw plenty of paintings there and we learned a lot about Van Gogh’s life, and what impressed me most was the sex museum in Amsterdam. It show me a lot of different cultures views about/on sex which I can’t see in China because China is a very traditional country right now but during the Qing dynasty we had a more open attitude towards sex. Gay is something very ordinary in everyday life, but now we think being gay is bad or not accepted. Next we went to Germany, the first place we went to was Frankfurt, it’s very similar to Shanghai. Next we went to Barden Barden, in the hot springs there are people of both genders in the same one. We went there very late at night, so we only saw many old men , he thought  ” oh what a shame”. Next we went to Thor, a new swan castle in germany, and we saw different scenery in Europe because there are barely any castles in Shanghai or China. Last we went to the beer festival. The festival seemed like a big zoo, and we ate very salty bread (pretzel) and the beer there tastes very bitter. We thought it was a little noisy there but still very interesting then we came back. We transferred in France at the Charles de Gaulle Airport. (shar-le- de- gou-le)

Original

 I will introduce a famous player who named yaoming. He is our basketball player,, when i was seven years old i played basketball in our school my teacher told me there is a very great basketball player in chinese history and he is now playing basketball in NBA which is a very famous match in America. When I think it’s very great. he acheived great acheivements in the math, even James said that he very good at her position in his teams, and his performance in Rocket team impressed lots of people in this world. And at the peak of his career, he return back to china to finish his studies in Shanghai jiaotong and now he become the president of  chinese and he make chinese basketball team to win the champion in this CBC.

Corrected

 I will introduce a famous player who is named yaoming. He is China’s most famous basketball player, when i was seven years old i played basketball in our school my teacher told me there is a very great basketball player in China and he is now playing basketball in the NBA which is a very famous organization in America. I think it’s very great. he has a lot of great achievements, even James Lebron said that he’s very good at his position, and his performance with the Rockets  impressed lots of people around the world. And at the peak of his career, he returned to china to finish his studies in Shanghai jiaotong university and now he is the president of  the CBA and helped the Chinese basketball team win the championship.

Original

I think the people in our country prefer to watch competitions, especially in Shanghai people will spend lots of time to finish their work so they barely have time to participate in real sports, maybe in weekends they can gather together to have a small football match. It’s the only thing image they can enjoy their sports in our life.

Corrected

I think  people in our country prefer to watch competitions, especially in Shanghai. people will spend lots of time to finish their work so they barely have time to participate in real sports, maybe during weekends they can gather together to have a small football match. It’s the only thing I can imagine that they can enjoy sports in real life.

Original

I will introduce Ann Sharon to you. It is my favorite singer, which is born in Englad, first time I know him, because of the song Shape of you, named X. What impressed me is that he has fabulous talents in composing his own songs and the melody is very attractive and why i want to be similar with him is the first he has a girlfriend, they meet eachother when they in senior high school and maybe he has earned lots of money, or he will get some temptation in his life but he still keep loving the only girl which moved me a lot. I maybe should learn from him and just focus on my relationship and I want to compose my own songs and some days I want to play music with him together.

Corrected

I will introduce ED SHEERAN. He is my favorite singer, who was born in England The first time I heard about him him,  was because of his song Shape of you, in his album named X. What impressed me is that he is very talented in composing his own songs and the melody is very attractive. Why i want to be similar with him is because first he has a girlfriend, they met each other when they were in senior high school and even though he has earned lots of money, or get some temptation in his life, he still keeps loving the only girl which moved me a lot. I should learn from him and just focus on my relationship. I want to compose my own songs and some day I would like to play music with him together.