VIP Class Notes (Ally)[W]

Writing

Q:Do you feel that new technology developments – social media, food delivery apps etc. – pose a threat on people’s privacy? What are some examples of this?

In the modern society, the losing privacy is a really controversial topic with the development of the social networks. With the greater exposure of people’s personal details, the threats of losing personal privacy has become a greater problem that people would face.

Firstly, with the development of technology, the social media has became one of the most important addictions. One thing that is related to social media is people tends to post contents whatever they want and have no aware of the dangers imposed. For instance, the teenagers in the modern society are addicted to social networks and also due to the current trend of social media. The younger generations would post more about their daily lives and not concerned about what they are losing.

Secondly, with the improvements of the food industry, people in China are addicted to the food delivery applications in their mobile phones, which is also because of the convenience. One of the dangers of the delivery industry is people’s personal details such as their address and phone numbers can be easily accessed by the strangers. However, The greater problem related to this situation is people have too little awareness towards exposing their personal details.

The easy accessibility of personal details due to the more developed social networks definitely imposed dangers to people especially when they’re not that concerned about it with little acknowledgement of the significance of losing it.

Edited:

In the modern society, the invasion of privacy is a hugely/immensely/tremendously/incredibly controversial topic, especially/particularly with the development of the social networks. As people’s lives become more convenient/ as people become more reliant on the modern lifestyle, we face a greater threat on our personal privacy. This modern threat is becoming one of the greatest problems of the twenty-first century. 

Firstly, with the development of technology, social media has became one of the most severe/wide-spread addictions worldwide. People – especially the younger generation/those in their teens –  tend to post contents whenever they want and have no awareness of the dangers imposed. For instance, strangers or dangerous stalkers/criminals can track someone’s every move on social media via their moments posts. Even though similar accidents have happened/have made the news, we can’t seem to stop; teenagers in the modern society are hopelessly addicted to social networks due to the current trend. The younger generation are posting all about their daily lives and not at all concerned about what they are losing.

Secondly/also/in addition/furthermore, with the boom/exponential increase/outburst of phone apps, people in China are becoming addicted to the food delivery applications on their mobile phones. Unlike that of  Western countries, the delivery service in China is more matureall of the world’s cuisines is just a few clicks away. However, this convenience is not without its drawback. One of the dangers of the delivery industry is that people’s detailed personal information such as their addresses and phone numbers can be easily accessed by the strangers. However, The greater problem related to this situation is that people have too little awareness towards this threat.

The accessibility of personal information brought on by/caused by a more developed social network definitely imposes new dangers to people, especially when they’re not concerned about it or even recognise it.

Homework

Writing homework:

Some people in the education industry say that the advantage of examinations outweigh its disadvantages. What are your thoughts?

Remember: All the adj you use should complement your logic in your sentences. And all the logics of your sentences, in turn, should add to your overall argument. Everything you say (including all adjs) should be backed up by later sentences. Watch out for redundancy.