F2F Class Notes (Nicholas) [W/S]

Orignal

In my twenties, I was obsessed with my ex-boyfriend. He was my high school classmate. We were best friends in high school. When came into university we became a couple. Because of we were good friends, there were a lot of interesting things and a lot of fun for us.

But there was a problem that bothered us. We lived too far away. My university was in Guangdong, his in hometown. It took five hours for the plane to arrive. We only met during the holidays.

At that time, I had a lot of living expenses more than his. In order to saved his phone bill, I called him every day. If he want to call me, he rang the ring and hung it off. I called him back again. Once he had a football match. I bought shoes and sent them to him. Every we went out for a holiday, I arranged our schedule and major expenses.But because of his childish character, we broke up many times during the university. Then in holiday we became reconciled.

After graduating from university, I worked in Beijing. He was still a student. Once I went to my hometown to celebrate his birthday, and I didn’t let my parents know. His goal was getting into the local hospital. Later I gave up my job in Beijing and went back to my hometown to accompany him. At that time, I liked to pay for him, when he was an intern in the hospital, I cooked and delivered it to him. But he was still childish, not a little changed, and he didn’t treasure for me. We fought a lot, and I was getting tired.

In the end, we ended seven years of our relationship. I came to Shanghai after we broke up, he still continued his medical studying. After a long time, my friend of our hometown told me that he said I was the best woman in his life, and never forgetting me. He kept asking about me, friends advised him to contact me, but he never had the courage. The reason I chose to give up on him was that he was a man who didn’t have the courage. And his hesitant character.

Corrected

In my twenties, I was obsessed with my ex-boyfriend. He was my high school classmate. We were best friends in high school. When we went to university we became a couple. We were good friends, there were a lot of interesting things  and fun things for us to do.

However there was a problem that bothered us. We lived too far away from each other. My university was in Guangdong, his was in our hometown. It took five hours for the plane to arrive. We only met during the holidays.

At that time, I had a lot of living expenses more than his / My living expenses were more than his. In order to save money on his phone bill, I called him every day. If he wanted to call me, he rang me and then hung up. I called him back again. Once he had a football match. I bought shoes and sent them to him. Every summer and winter holiday we went out together. I arranged our schedule and major expenses, but because of his childish character, we broke up many times during university. Then during the holiday we reconciled.

After graduating from university, I worked in Beijing. He was still a student. Once I went to my hometown to celebrate his birthday, and I didn’t let my parents know. His goal was getting a job at the local hospital. Later I gave up my job in Beijing and went back to my hometown to accompany him. At that time, I liked to pay for him, when he was an intern in / at the hospital, I cooked and delivered food to him. But he was still childish, he hadn’t changed one bit / he hadn’t change at all, and he didn’t treasure me. We fought a lot, and I was getting tired.

In the end, we ended our seven year relationship / our relationship of seven years. I came to Shanghai after we broke up, he still continued his medical studies. After a long time, my friend of our hometown told me that he said I was the best woman in his life, and never forgot me. He kept asking about me, friends advised him to contact me, but he never had the courage. The reason I chose to give up on him was that he was a man who didn’t have the courage, and his hesitant character.

Don’t start a sentence with BUT or BECAUSE or AND.

Vocabulary

long distance relationship
I had a long distance relationship with my first boyfriend.

paranoid – 偏执
My wife is always paranoid that I have a girlfriend.

Sometimes mothers are very protective

to dump – to break up with
the break up was mutual
she dumped me

mutual – we both share – we both agree
Alice and Nicholas have a mutual friend: Judy.

conservative – 保守
I was a very conservative girl.

consistent – 一贯
I am a very consistent person because I always feel the same way.

fear – 恐惧
do you have any fears?
I have a fear of spiders.
I fear my wife when she is angry.
I am very fearful.

“late night call”

Original

I fear my phone ring in the morning – very early morning or night from my hometown. I am afraid of I will heard of a bad news because bad news always happen in night or early morning when we sleep. Because one year ago it was summer in July – I heard my ring in early morning at 2 AM. We were sleeping, and I heard my father was dead news. At that time my mom lived in SH with me. My mom and I heard this news and very crazy and very sad / upset. And we can’t do anything / paralyzed, and we just search plane schedule, my son was seven – eight months old – very young. My husband any my mother with me went to my hometown. So from that day I was afraid of late night call.

Corrected

I fear that my phone will ring in the morning – in the very early morning or at night from my hometown. I am afraid of hearing of bad news because bad news always happens in the night / at night or in the early morning when we sleep. Because one year ago it was summer in July – I heard my phone ring in the early morning at 2 AM. We were sleeping, and I heard the news that my father was dead. At that time my mom lived in SH with me. My mom and I heard this news and we got very crazy and felt very sad / upset. And we couldn’t do anything / we were [paralyzed], and we just searched for flights, my son was seven – eight months old – he was very young. My husband any my mother went with me went to my hometown. So from that day I was afraid of late night calls.