Email Service Notes (Tony)

Your Original Email


Dear, I need to deliver to client the following translation. However, it’s difficult for me to translation in native way.
Appreciate if you could help me to revise the wording and expression base on Chinese copy. Thanks!

美孚小程序新登场
让买油e如反掌
Mobil mini program new launch.
Make Lubricant purchase more easier!

如何让车主们买到正品润滑油,从而让美孚品牌更值得信赖?
How can help drivers to buy salable product, and to win the brand trust from consumer?
如何帮助经销商建立网络渠道,从而让美孚品牌更家喻户晓?
How to help distributor to build network channel, so that to make Mobil widely known among the market?
从9月开始,美孚查找门店工具全新升级。
Since 2017 September, Mobil Retailer Location tool new upgrade!
联合方便快捷的微信小程序,开辟与中国车主沟通的新大陆!
Combining convenient and quick tool with WeChat mini program, to expand communication scene with Chinese drivers.
即刻扫描右方二维码体验吧!
Scan the QRC and get experience now!

覆盖门店更广Offline stores cover widely.
新增商用车润滑油门店New add CVL stores.

到达门店更便捷Arriving store more convenient.
一键呼出电话,Call out at one step.
直接跳转导航工具到店Get navigation directly.

使用工具更简单Tool using more simple
微信小程序-美孚润滑油查找购买,无需关注即刻使用
WeChat mini program—Mobil Lubricant assistant
Using toll without following WeChat official account.
美孚车用润滑油公众号-更多服务-查找购买
Mobil Auto Lubricant Official account-
More service-Purchase search

Your Edited Email


Dear, I need to deliver the following translation to the client. However, it’s difficult for me to translate it into native English.
I’d Appreciate if you could help me revise the wording and expressions based on the Chinese copy. Thanks!

美孚小程序新登场
让买油e如反掌
Mobil mini program new launch.
Make Lubricant purchasing easier!

如何让车主们买到正品润滑油,从而让美孚品牌更值得信赖?
How can we help drivers to buy useful products, and win the brand trust from consumers?
如何帮助经销商建立网络渠道,从而让美孚品牌更家喻户晓?
How to help distributors build network channels, to make Mobil widely known among the market?
从9月开始,美孚查找门店工具全新升级。
Since 2017 September, Mobil Retailer Location tool has been upgraded!
联合方便快捷的微信小程序,开辟与中国车主沟通的新大陆!
Combining convenient and quick tool with WeChat mini program, to expand communication scene with Chinese drivers.
即刻扫描右方二维码体验吧!
Scan the QR Code to experience it now!

覆盖门店更广Offline stores are covered widely.
新增商用车润滑油门店New add CVL stores.

到达门店更便捷Arriving store more convenient.
一键呼出电话,Call out in one step.
直接跳转导航工具到店Get navigation directly.

使用工具更简单Tool using more simple
微信小程序-美孚润滑油查找购买,无需关注即刻使用
WeChat mini program—Mobil Lubricant assistant
Using toll without following WeChat official account.
美孚车用润滑油公众号-更多服务-查找购买
Mobil Auto Lubricant Official account-
More service-Purchase search

I wasn’t sure about some of the corrections or meanings in this email. Please review this with a teacher in your next class.