Email Service Notes (Tony)

Your Original Email:

It’s about my self-introduction.( Please don’t modification TV、OTV or other terminology.)

I will introduce myself on my work experience. Wish you can choose me to be one of your team member.
I have 2 years experience on TV ads executed and 2.5 years experience on OTV ads executed .I work for 8 clients before at least, including JNJ(Johnson and Johnson)、HM 、COACH、LEVIES、WMF 、RAY-BAN、SKIPPY、HILTON…
From this year I transfer to a planning team, until September I have 8 months experience.

Why my working experience doesn’t match my position, I think due to OMD lost too many client and I have to transfer to other team and follow different team leaders.

Your Corrected Email:

It’s about my self-introduction.( Please don’t change TV、OTV or other jargon.)

I will first introduce my work experience. Hopefully I am a good fit to be one of your team members.
I have 2 years experience on TV ads executed and 2.5 years experience on OTV ads executed. I’ve worked for at least 8 clients before, including brands like JNJ(Johnson and Johnson)、H&M 、COACH、LEVI’S、WMF 、RAY-BAN、SKIPPY and HILTON.
From this year I transferred to a planning team, in September I will have 8 months experience.

Why my working experience doesn’t match my position, I think because OMD lost too many clients and I have to transfer to another team and follow different team leaders.