Email Service Notes (Nick)

Your Original Email

Dear Regional leaders,

Hope this E-mail finds you well.
As we know from the last appointment in Beijing with Lychee.com, they are the hotel service provider for China UnionPay Premium Cardholders .
To ensure the right direction to cooperate with the right partner, I have met with UnionPay International on this week, below is my recap form the meeting with them.

What’s Unionpay ?
Unionpay is the Global Payment Network (same as VISA, AMEX ,MASTER) has covered 174 countries and issued Unionpay cards in more than 52 countries and regions through cooperation with more than 2000 global institutions.
With total around 7.4 billion Unionpay cards , about 25 million Premium Cardholders cards and about 10% (2.5 million ) are Diamond.

What’s their business model? How are their teams/department handling for?
Since 2010, Unionpay wants to develop more overseas spend to earn the exchange rate as well as to increase the overseas Cardholders , they deviled into two company to China UnionPay and UnionPay International and both regional office are located in Shanghai with same building.
The KPI for China UnionPay : To increase the China domestic cardholders spend in China domestic, including any partnership of domestic product , hotels , restaurant , theme park etc.
The KPI for UnionPay International : To increase the China domestic and overseas cardholders spend at overseas , including any overseas partnership , dining , lifestyle , hotels , restaurant , travel etc.. and roll out the UnionPay using channel around the world.

Your Edited Email

(248 of 490 words)

Dear Regional leaders,

I hope this E-mail finds you well.
As we know from the last appointment in Beijing with Lychee.com, they are the hotel service provider for China UnionPay Premium Cardholders .
To ensure the right direction to cooperate that we are on the right path with the right partner, I have met with UnionPay International on this week. Below is my recap form from the meeting with them.

What’s Unionpay ?
Unionpay is the a Global Payment Network (same as VISA, AMEX ,MASTER) has covered covering 174 countries and issued with active Unionpay cards in more than 52 countries and regions through cooperation with more than 2000 global institutions.
With Out of a total of around 7.4 billion Unionpay cards , about 25 million are Premium Cardholders cards and about 10% (2.5 million ) are Diamond.

What’s their business model? How are their teams/department handling for [This sentence is incomplete. You need to include a subject here, a what that the teams/department is handling.]?
Since 2010, Unionpay wants to develop more overseas spending/spenders to earn the exchange rate/build an exchange reserve as well as to increase the overseas Cardholders. In order to achieve this, they deviled divided into two companies, to China UnionPay and UnionPay International, and with both regional offices are located in the same building in Shanghai with same building.
The KPI for China UnionPay : To increase the spending of China domestic Chinese cardholders spend within China domestic, including any partnership of domestic products , hotels , restaurants , theme parks, etc.
The KPI for UnionPay International : To increase the spending of Chinese domestic and overseas cardholders spend at overseas , including any overseas partnerships , dining , lifestyle , hotels , restaurants , travel, etc.. and roll out the UnionPay Global Payment Network(?) using channels around the world.