Email Service Notes (Lily)

Your Original Email


To Lily,

As we talked about definition of mature today, I personally think that a mature person needs to have the following requirements:

1. You need to be able to make your own money. In addition to be able to support yourself, this money should also have a reserve funds. When you have a serious illness, you can afford your own medical expenses instead of asking your parents for help. And if you want to buy a house, you should afford it by yourself. You are mature when you donā€™t have the financial backing of your parents.
2. You need to be able to control your emotions. You are mature as you are not cry when you want to cry like a baby. Deal with the problem head on instead of letting off steam.
3. Lives alone – not living with your parents. You can take care of yourself in life, give yourself a healthy routine. Instead of indulging like a child who has left his parents.
4. In addition to take care of yourself, you can proper take care of your family. You are mature when you can be relied.
Thatā€™s how I think about maturity.

This is my writing, could you help me toĀ correctĀ it?
Thank you!

Chenglin

Your Edited Email


To Lily,

Since we talked about theĀ definition of mature today, I personally think that a mature person needs to have the following requirements/criterias:

1. You need to be able to make your own money. In addition to be able to support yourself, you should also save up some money. When you have a serious illness, you can afford theĀ medical expenses on your own instead of asking your parents for help. And if you want to buy a house, you should be able toĀ afford it by yourself. You are consideredĀ mature when you donā€™t rely on your parents financially.
2. You need to be able to control your emotions. You are mature when you canĀ refrain from tears. You should be able toĀ deal/face with the problem directly.Ā head on instead of letting off steam.
3. Lives alone – not living with your parents. You can take care of yourself in life, give yourself a healthy routine, instead of acting like a mother’s boy.Ā 
4. Other thanĀ taking care of yourself, you should also take care of your family. You are consideredĀ mature when others rely on you.Ā 
Thatā€™s what I think of maturity. /Ā These are my thoughts on the subject of maturity.

Vocabulary


1.mother’s boy 妈宝ē”·= someone who is excessively attached to his mother when he should be independent.