Email Service Notes (Jesse)

Your Original Email


One day, I was packing my clothes in my bag at home before going for a trip. At first, I opened the closet door to pick up some clothes to put into my bag. But I found that there were so many clothes and pants in it. So I had to try my best to choose some suitable clothes from it. After that, I picked a skinny blue shirt and then I thought the oversized fit was also good for me. At last, I put so many clothes, pants and jeans into my heavy bag. I think if you have so many clothes at home, the advantage of it is that you can change your different clothes frequently so that you won’t be the same look all the time, which can also help you to attend different occasions. Some of them are stretchy and others are able to show your shape, which can meet your different demands. However, the downside of these clothes is that you spent too much money on getting them. Also, it costs you too much time if you want to pick up the favorite one from them. Furthermore, most clothes can be put on once or twice. As a result, you won’t wear them forever. That’s a waste of time and money. As the saying goes less is more, so you have to think it twice whenever you want to buy any things.

Your Edited Email


One day, I was packing my clothes in my bag at home before going on a trip / One day I was packing for a trip and when I opened the closet door to get some clothes to put into my bag, but I found that there were so many clothes and pants in there. So I had to try my best to choose some suitable clothes from them. After that, I picked a skinny / tight fitting blue shirt but then I thought the oversized fit was also good for me. At last, I put so many clothes, pants and jeans into my heavy bag. I think if you have so many clothes at home, the advantage of it is that you can change your different clothes frequently so that you won’t have the same look all the time, which can also help you to attend different occasions. Some of them are stretchy and others are able to show your shape, which can meet your different demands. However, the downside of having this many clothes is that you spent too much money on getting them. Also, it takes too much time to decide what to wear due to the multitude of clothing you own. Furthermore, most clothes can only be worn once or twice (really?? I hope you’re not throwing away clothing after only wearing them twice lol). As a result, you won’t wear them forever, so it’s a waste of time and money. As the saying goes “less is more”, so you should think twice before buying things in future.


Clothes = yi fu, so pants and jeans etc are all included in this.

Remember: 2 ideas, 1 conjunction. You cannot have 2 conjunctions connecting 2 ideas.
eg. I went to the park AND I had a coffee = right
eg2. WHEN I went to the park AND I had a coffee = wrong