Email Service Notes (Jesse)

Your Original Email

I rarely buy some souvenir when I travel to some places, and souvenir sold in the famous scenery is more likely expensive. Also, I am not the one who is good at a bargain for sale. That is to say, I have to pay far too much for it, which will only be on display and I’ll throw them away some time. That’s a waste of money and time. But I’m a big fan of collecting tickets, that’s why I would like to take a visit to stunning beautiful sights and historic places that will give me the tickets, such as parks, museums, exhibitions, etc. And watching a live show in other cities or abroad is also my favorite choice. One day, I happened to go on a business trip, I found there was a concert near my hotel during my spare time. I bought a good view seat that was only one left in an instrument shop, which made me feel like I was a lucky dog. The design of the ticket was different from what I have bought in my city. Keeping tickets will remind me of the past travel memory, furthermore, it won’t take a lot of space in my room.

Your Edited Email

I rarely buy some any souvenirs when I travel to some places, because souvenirs sold in the famous places are more likely to be expensive. Also, I am not the kind of person who is good at bargaining for sale. That is to say, I always have to pay far too much for things, which will only be on display at home and I’ll throw them away eventually / soon enough which is a waste of money and time. But I’m a big fan of collecting tickets, which is why I would like to take a visit to stunning / beautiful sights and historic places where i can get tickets, such as parks, museums, exhibitions, etc. Also, watching a live shows in other cities or abroad is also one of my favourite things to do. One day, I happened to go on a business trip, and I found there was a concert near my hotel during my spare time / when I was free. I bought a seat with a good view / I got a good seat, which was the last one available, in an instrument shop, which / and it made me feel so lucky! The design of the ticket was different from what I have bought in my city before. Keeping tickets will reminds me of the my past trips memory, and furthermore, it won’t take up a lot of space in my room / at home.

Shenye– spend more time on nouns in class – when do we need to use “a” and “the”?