Email Service Notes (Jesse)

Your Original Email

Learn something about their culture.
If you have met someone from a new country that you maybe don’t know much about it. You can make a quick search on the internet which can tell you more about the country. For example, not all British people are gentleman and women are lady. And you can tell them something about your culture. If you can tell them some stories of your country, they will really happy to listen.
If you want to become friends with them, the first thing is to be interested in the person. Be interested in their life, there hobbies, what they do. It also helps to have something in common.

Your Edited Email

Learn something about their culture.
If you have met someone from a new country that you maybe don’t know much about it, you can do a quick search on the internet / online which can tell you more about the country. For example, not all British people are gentlemen and not all women are ladies / ladylike and you can also tell them something about your culture. If you can tell them some stories of your country, they will / should be really happy to listen.
If you want to become friends with them, the first thing is to be interested in the person / in them and be interested in their life, their hobbies, and what they do. It also helps to have something in common.

– pretty good Claire! Some nice sentences in there, and decent vocabulary. Try to use more conjunctions to make longer sentences and connect ideas that are regarding the same point. Good work – Jesse.