Email Service Notes (Jacob)

Demo StudentTony

Your Original Email

Dear all

AttachedĀ is the checklist and main relevant photos for Berkel carvingĀ knives at Wansheng on 22th.Ā found 2pcsĀ critical defects, have asked factory to re-check all goods packed today.

Today I found 2pcs critical defects, this 2pcs defects were checked by me on Wednesday, I already stuck arrow marks on this 2pcs defective knives, they re-packed the 2pcs defective knives directly,Ā theyĀ did not polish orĀ clean them, even they packed them with arrow marks. in addition,Ā I also remember they mixed cartons lastĀ time.Ā I think the factory managementĀ is critical bad, I strongly suggest that we should stop cooperating with the factory. the sooner the better.

By now, Factory hasĀ finished carving knives,Ā stillĀ has not startedĀ to packĀ set 2 steak knives yet.

Your Edited Email

Dear all

AttachedĀ is the checklist and main relevant photos for theĀ Berkel carvingĀ knives at Wansheng on 22th. I/we found 2pcsĀ withĀ critical defectsĀ and have asked factory to re-check all goods packed today.

Today I found 2pcsĀ with critical defects, these 2pcsĀ with defects were checked by me on Wednesday, I already stuck arrow marks on these 2Ā defective knives, they re-packed the 2 defective knives directly,Ā theyĀ did not polish orĀ clean themĀ andĀ they even packed them with arrow marks. In addition,Ā I also remember they mixed cartons lastĀ time.Ā I think the factory managementĀ has critical issues andĀ I strongly suggest that we should stop cooperating with the factory. The sooner the better.

By now, the factory hasĀ finished theĀ carving knives, butĀ stillĀ has not startedĀ to packĀ theĀ setsĀ of 2 steak knives yet.

Edited by Jacob Parent @ SE

Just some quick notes Tony.

  • When using a noun (factory, carving knives), don’t forge to useĀ the, as seen above
  • RememberĀ thisĀ means one andĀ theseĀ is for more than one.
  • Look to see if you can useĀ andĀ instead of a ‘,’ because this is not a replacement for and unless listing a lot of things.
  • You must say who is doing things unless it is very clear and obvious. I or we did ……